Clingy Parent?

After our trip home from Maui, we had to drive the next morning to Las Vegas for a family wedding. A drive to Vegas, a long rehearsal, and the rehearsal dinner, kept us on Hawaii time. We slept in late Saturday and then got ready for the wedding. There were no time for naps, so at 6 p.m, John thought it was 3 p.m. nap in Hawaii. He had a meltdown during the cocktail hour and Bill took him to the car to watch a movie to settle him down. I went and got the boys, taking the movie away and causing another tantrum. I took John into the reception, where he continued to cry until he fell asleep in my lap. I woke him up by accident 20 minutes later and he wasn't happy. I walked with him outside and Bill got the portable DVD player. We put John on the floor by our chairs with a movie and calmed him down. He watched it for 20 minutes and then decided to dance with the other kids on the dance floor. He was happy for the rest of the night, but it looked a little rocky at first...

Between Bill and I, we watched John like a hawk. Many other parents let their kids run around, checking on them every once in awhile. But, with John, we have to have a constant eye on him. Many that don't understand John's issues may look at us and think that we are too clingly, too protective, and too worried. But, turning our back could mean John going into the kitchen, leaving the room, going up with the band, getting into the open fireplace that was in the same room, but around the corner, etc. There were too many opportunities for us to "lose" sight of him or enable him to get into things he shouldn't. John will take any opportunity given to him to run in the opposite direction. He often will look back, knowing he's being chased, and laugh. But, if your not watching, he's gone. (like at the grocery store with Bill when he saw the elevator and climbed out of the car shopping cart)

John's comprehension level of what he can and cannot do is definitely improving from 6 months ago, but it's not that of a 3 year old yet. He's still immature and delayed. He can, at times, show responsibility and understanding, but consistency is not there yet. First and foremost, he's a kid. Secondly, he's almost three, but still a 'terrible two'. And thirdly, he's autistic. Whether or not others want to see it, Bill and I face other children his age that prove to us that John is different. Right now, that label is autism and whether or not that changes in the future doesn't matter. We have to live for today and that's what it is, regardless of whether others think it is or isn't, or the severity of it. In day to day living, that's what this is for us--the here and now.

Through the successes, you have hope, but you also must recognize where the challenges lie. You must remind yourself where the differences are between your child and others so you can help your child in those areas of development. If you are not willing to recognize it, you will not be able to help to your child. You have to acknowledge the developmental differences and fight with your child through those struggles. There is always hope and you have to fight for it. But don't let parents of other children make you feel like you're "too protective" or "too clingy". When people say "relax", what they don't realize is that this IS your state of relaxation with your child -- the peace in knowing that you are watching him and that all is going to be ok.